Sunrise, Sunset

Rejoining this blog now that 5 years have passed. 5 years....3 more baby boys, the youngest of whom I am nursing as I type. Re-reading these previous entries, it's hard for me now to remember when Paul and Caleb were ever that little, or when I ever had time to craft posts like that. Is life just slipping by me, as I move steadily from one task to the next? Homeschooling, dishes, laundry, diapers, cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, dishes, laundry diapers, cooking, cleaning... I try to punctuate the day with prayer, be it a hastily whispered, fervently-meant, "Lord, help me!", or the Angelus at noon, an extra Rosary as the baby naps and the big boys play outside...but is it enough? Enough to keep me on track and focused on what this is all about? Enough to ensure that the boys know that what is most important in this life is how it ends? All I can do is be liberal with love....and conservative with my time.

Caleb at 4 months old 

Filling the Time

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. -Ephesians 5:15-16

Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. -Colossians 4:5

"How on earth are you filling the time without TV??" asked a friend, incredulously. It's true, my husband and I made the decision to forgo TV for the month of August. No more flipping through the stations just to see what's on. No more giving in to my toddler's demands of "Blue's Clues, Mommy, Blue's Clues!" Enough with the same old Friends or Seinfeld rerun we've seen 8 times already.

But my friend's question seemed to highlight the issue for me so clearly. Why do humans have this constant need to "fill time?" What is wrong with just allowing an hour - or even a day- to just unfold? And if we are acceeding to this need to "fill it," then what are we filling it with? If the answer is TV, then we are filling the time with refuse. Offal! Dung! Think about it: insipid sitcoms, most of which are just one long sex joke. Police dramas, in which bloody homicides are brought right into our living rooms. You would not allow these people into your home, but every night you spend hour after hour with them. Even shows, ostensibly designed to be good for children, portray parents alternately as buffoons or as over-strict martinets. Rebellious children are rewarded with adventures, romance, and the self-satisfying position of having been proved right.

Now, I enjoy Christian TV, videos, and truly good children's programs as much as the next Mom. But even when the content is positive, I see the slack-jawed, glassy-eyed expression on my toddler's face as he is glued to the screen, oblivious to whatever else is going on around him. The last time his grandmother came to visit from over 400 miles away, she arrived in the middle of "The Wiggles." He didn't even look up as she entered the room and greeted him. That is not how I want my sons to be raised.

I want them to value people over things, real relationships over mere entertainment. I want them to be able to be equally comfortable reading in the silence of the midafternoon and yelling and roughhousing in the backyard. And I don't want to just "fill" my own time with meaningless drivel on the screen. I want to be reading God's Word, and really taking its lessons to heart. I want to be thinking of and working on ways to make my marriage and family stronger. I want to learn to sew, write a book, evangelize my dad, bake a pie, build a sandbox. It's amazing how much more time I have for all those pursuits when the remote controls have been hidden away.

I don't want to merely "fill the time;" I want to redeem it. I want to make the most of the time that God has given us here on earth. This is our training ground for heaven. This is our mission field. As a Christian, I know that "our side" will someday be victorious in this culture war. And I know, hope and pray that someday, I'll be in heaven. The only question is how many souls I'll take with me when I go. Who will God have allowed me to touch and how will God use me as His instrument to help bring people to him? I don't have all these answers. But I know it's a lot easier to listen for them with the boob tube off.

"Of course, MY job is essential!"

Yahoo! News - Home Schooling Is on the Rise:

"WASHINGTON - Almost 1.1 million students were home-schooled last year, their numbers pushed higher by parents frustrated over school conditions and wanting to include morality and religion with the English and math.

The estimated figure of students taught at home has grown 29 percent since 1999, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, part of the Education Department.

In surveys, parents offered two main reasons for choosing home schooling: 31 percent cited concerns about the environment of regular schools, and 30 percent wanted the flexibility to teach religious or moral lessons. Third, at 16 percent, was dissatisfaction with academic instruction at other schools.

Also, Feinberg said, parents must consider whether their children will emerge from home schooling with limited exposure to other children and various cultures. More federal research is needed to help resolve such questions about home schooling, he said.

"At some point, children are going to have to interact with the rest of the world," he said. "If they haven't had the opportunity to build their emotional muscles so they have that capacity to interact, how effective are they going to be outside their cloistered environment?"

Oh PLEASE! Keep in mind that this last quote is from the head of the National Association of School Psychologists. Do you think he might have a vested interest in casting homeschooling in a negative light?? Of course he has to convince himself that homeschooled kids are all backwards, socially-inept piles of Silly Putty, because certainly no child could become a fully-functioning member of society without the sage involvement of a School Psychologist.

Diving In

So. At last I have given in to the mechanized world and consented to starting a blog. (Did you know the word "blog" was officially added to the Oxford English Dictionary last year? Guess that means it's here to stay!) This will have a more specific purpose than my cherished, fabric-covered journals from girlhood, however, in which the most earth-shattering event recorded was when a boy asked me to dance at the sixth-grade mixer. In the intervening years, I have deepened my faith and put down roots in Christ which I hope will not ever be easily shaken. Now, with a dear husband and with two small sons to guide into adulthood, I feel the need to live more purposefully for Christ. I want there to be no mistaking, from the outside looking in, what I live for and why I do the things I do. Not that I have all the answers, nor do I always act in accordance with my beliefs. As Paul said, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do." -Romans 7:15 . I have a heart that longs for heaven and a mind that longs for cheesy mysteries, Doritos, and just a little more sleep.